damianWAG's to join Aussie cricketers on tour
April 22nd 2009 04:46
pic: news.com.au
In a stunning development for Australian cricket, Cricket Australia has finally relented to pressure from Michael Clarke and ruled that wives and girlfriends (WAG's) of the players will be allowed to accompany them on the upcoming ashes tour and the preceding training camp.
An overjoyed Clarke could hardly contain his emotions, saying 'it's alright for some of the boys to get a bit on the side if their wife has a face like a robber's dog, but what about those of us who are going around with underwear models, where was the fairness for us?'
Not everyone was so overjoyed at the decision, however. A former Australian cricketer, who did not want to be named for fear of remembering who he was, said it was a sad day for Australian cricket. "Back in the day", he said as he cried into his 12th pint of beer for the night, " when we were all fat, hariy, obnoxious beer swilling Aussie blokes, you couldn't wait to see the back of your wife and go on tour to knock the back out of some bird you met in the pub. Now these Sensitive New Age Wanker (SNAW) types are bringing the game I love into disrepute. What will be next, will we let women in the dressing rooms?"
SportsandAll left the former player to continue bringing himself into disrepute and sought out views from other former luminaries of the game, such as former England Captain, Tony Greig.
"Ah yes, I remember one back in '72 in Perth with a crack as wide as..." He began, when asked about women on tour.
"No, no, Tony", SportsandAll interrupted. "We're asking you about women coming on tour with the team, not about the state of the cracks on the pitch, or how much grass there was left on the 5th day"
"Yes, as a matter of fact, it did strike me how smooth it was, devoid of any covering, though I dare say by the 5th day some would have grown back, unfortunately the Test only lasted 3 days, so we flew out earlier than i anticipated. Left one of my best sweaters there, too!"
Obviously unable to see eye to eye with Greig, and puzzled by his curious obsession with the WACA wicket, not to mention why he needed to take off his sweater when he was inspecting the pitch in the first place, we decided that we would have to let the results speak for themselves.
Hell, even if we lose 5-0 at least there's sure to be some great punch-ups between Katich and Clarke in the dressing room!
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