damianRicky Ponting's right of reply
November 13th 2008 22:43
Today as I walked out to the mailbox to see if my subscription to Al-Qaeda had gone through yet, I was quite surprised to find a letter from Ricky Ponting outlining his frustrations at the speculation over his position. Although this has been coming from a number of sources in the media, Ponting felt particularly affronted by the treatment he had received from certain Orble blogs in particular.
his letter reads as follows:
Dear Damian,
It recently came to my attention that your blog, Sportsandall, has been advertising for my position behind my back, when in fact it was never vacant in the first place (the position, that is, not my back, which is occupied by a rather large monkey).
As if to rub salt into the wound, it emerged that further to this, there have actually been a number of applications for this job. As if it wasn't bad enough for Norm to back Kenneth Branagh (who would it be next... Cameron White, for God's sake?), I then noticed that Sportingmind had the audacity to submit an application for none other than its chief political correspondant, David Edwards. I can tell you, I went absolutely apeshit when I saw that. Has the whole world gone bananas?
This position is NOT vacant and I have no intention of stepping down, I'm short enough as it is!
Let me also say I am sick of the continuing allegations linking Australian cricket with facial hair. It surprises and saddens me that the Australian media has descended to such petty trivialities. I mean the way these people carry on about facial hair, you would think they have something personal against the Queen mum.
Lastly, I would like to clarify once and for all that there are no monkeys in, around, or within any kind of proximity to the Australian team. I hope this clears the matter up once and for all and we can now go and watch bananas in pyjamas in peace.
Yours sincerely,
Ricky Ponting
CURRENT CAPTAIN of the Australian Cricket Team
his letter reads as follows:
Dear Damian,
It recently came to my attention that your blog, Sportsandall, has been advertising for my position behind my back, when in fact it was never vacant in the first place (the position, that is, not my back, which is occupied by a rather large monkey).
As if to rub salt into the wound, it emerged that further to this, there have actually been a number of applications for this job. As if it wasn't bad enough for Norm to back Kenneth Branagh (who would it be next... Cameron White, for God's sake?), I then noticed that Sportingmind had the audacity to submit an application for none other than its chief political correspondant, David Edwards. I can tell you, I went absolutely apeshit when I saw that. Has the whole world gone bananas?
This position is NOT vacant and I have no intention of stepping down, I'm short enough as it is!
Let me also say I am sick of the continuing allegations linking Australian cricket with facial hair. It surprises and saddens me that the Australian media has descended to such petty trivialities. I mean the way these people carry on about facial hair, you would think they have something personal against the Queen mum.
Lastly, I would like to clarify once and for all that there are no monkeys in, around, or within any kind of proximity to the Australian team. I hope this clears the matter up once and for all and we can now go and watch bananas in pyjamas in peace.
Yours sincerely,
Ricky Ponting
CURRENT CAPTAIN of the Australian Cricket Team
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Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
I do think that Ricky has run his race as captain. The whole issue stems from the exclusion of John Howard, who's cause I've championed, from the touring party to Zimbabwe.
Just because he's would like to run certain races out, doesn't mean he can't bowl. His economical figures are what we need, I've always said.
Comment by Chris Champion
moneywhither
Vyoos
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Bloggercises
The Blog of Lists
Newly Old
Comment by David Edwards
Sporting Mind
My feeling is that it won't be long before cricket is exclusively played by monkeys, against other monkeys. Humans will be reduced to the role of mere spectators and administrators.
Comment by damian
Urban Telegraph
Sports and All
The Squirter McGee Diaries
you've hit the nail on the head. John Howard would have been the perfect choice to bowl in that crucial period in the fourth test. What he lacked in line and length, he would have made up for by excising all areas in front of the wicket from the batsman's scoring zone as mid on would quite probably have been merely a stop-off point for the ball in its attempt to sneak into Australia and take the job of an Australian cricket ball.
Chris,
You know that I have always been one to champion the little fella''s fighting spirit and to hear you say that deeply saddens me. Dear God, if the former PM of the country isn't safe from criticism, who will you be targeting next... George W.G. Bush?
Dave,
you are at your perceptive best once again. Even I did not see the monkeys taking over to such an extent. Why, even that monkey sitting suspiciously in the orble most popular list now looks like a genuine contender for the Australian captaincy.
Gentlemen,
Australian cricket is now officially dead, and control of Cricket Australia has undoubtedly been left in the hands of a few brave chimps. Please excuse me while I go and burn Darwin's The Origin of Species, the ashes of which I will place in an urn to replace the Border-Gavaskar trophy
Comment by jamoz
Jamoz's corner
Comment by damian
Urban Telegraph
Sports and All
The Squirter McGee Diaries