damianPonting leaks Australian XI for 3rd test
July 29th 2009 05:27
Not content with limiting his leaks to underneath the billiards table at the Bourbon & Beefstake, Ricky Ponting has gone one step further and leaked the makeup of the Australian team for the 3rd Ashes test, starting tomorrow. Ponting also included a short note on each player. Anyway, here is the lineup:
1:Jamie Cox
A fellow Tasmanian, former opening bat for the Apple Isle and of course, as a selector, perfectly placed to replace the out of form Phillip Hughes with himself. I've always been of the opinion in any case that two heads are better than one.
2: Jason Gillespie
3: Ricky Ponting
Seriously, who else would captain the team? Shane Warne???? HA HA HA, you make me laugh!
4: Michael Hussey
I've tried to get rid of him, but he keeps ringing me up at 4 in the morning, telling me he's only one innings away from the big one. I've kept him in the side for the sake of getting a good night's sleep.
5. Michael Clarke
Kato and Pup refused to play in the same team together, so I was forced into a choice between the two. As i said to Kat, it's not that he's a better player than you, it's just that he brings Lara Bingle along to team dinners and it helps keep the morale up amongst the boys if she shows a bit of skin every now and then.
6. Theo Theophanous
Proved himself capable of getting through even the toughest enquiry. Not even the English seamers could get through his defenses, and his little seam-up wobblers could prove quite penetrating on a flat deck. Still i do have my doubts about his mental strength, and whether he is focused more on the cricket or the interior design of the changerooms. "Do they have red couches in the Ladies room?" I mean what sort of a question is that!
7. Robert Richter QC
About the only person left willing to defend Mitchell Johnson at this point in time
8. Michael Jackson
Even dead and with one glove, he'll do a better job then Brad Haddin
9. Stuart Macgill
Yes, i know he was shocking last time he played a test, but this is for the good of millions of cricket fans who can't stand to see another second of him on sbs!
10.Ben Hilfenhaus
Another Tasmanian, automatic inclusion really. Like all good opening bowlers, he swings both ways which is something that has definitely come into vogue only recently in Tasmania.
11. Phil Tuffnell
Sometimes when he was playing against us for England, his performances were so bad I felt he simply must be a double agent. Unfortunately Mark Waugh was never in on the joke. Anyway, now is the time to find out!
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