damiancome in spinner: the search for Australia's next slow bowler
October 20th 2008 01:12
Barring a minor miracle, Australia face almost certain defeat in the second test against India. Indeed, on present form there is the very real prospect that Australia could go through the entire series without winning a single test. The need for some sort of change is beyond question, and the lack of a world-class slow bowler is self-evident. Yet it remains to be seen if the selectors will have the courage to invest in a long-term strategy, or will instead look for quick-fixes and half-measures.
Knowing how busy the Australian selectors are, I must confess to being slightly sceptical about their ability to thoroughly explore all the long term options. I have therefore taken it upon myself to run an eye over the current crop and come up with a shortlist of candidates.
1. Bindi Irwin:
Yes, you may scoff at the idea of a ten-year-old girl playing test cricket, but I see Bindi as being of the 'Tiger' O'Reilly school of fast spin bowling for one simple reason: once she discovered the ball was made out of leather, the little tree-hugger wouldn't be able to get rid of it quickly enough. Moreover, if that extra spark was ever needed, it would simply be a case of mounting an inflatable sting-ray behind the batsman's stumps.
2. Ian Thorpe:
He may have retired from competitive swimming, but he is still young enough to be Warney's lovechilld. In addition to his potential longevity, another factor in his favour is that swimming is just like bowling, only face down in the water. May prove to be a huge hit in India, and could embark on a series of duet recordings with Brett Lee for Bollywood soundtracks to further ensure his financial security once the lucrative endorsement deals related to his swimming career have dried up.
3. Eddie McGuire
Well, let's be honest, he's done everything else, so why not this?
4. Steve Bracks
In his day Steve Bracks was certainly quite adept at a bit of spin, so he would be well-suited to the rigours of test cricket. With Bracksy, you can be sure that the batsman would be subjected to a thorough enquiry. However, after determining the batsman's strengths and weaknesses, the question is: would he do anything about it?
5. Dale Kerrigan
If for no other reason than the fact that his hairstyle resembles the one Warney started out with.
6. Russell Crowe
After years supporting South Sydney in the NRL, Crowe is surely primed to associate himself with a slightly more successful sporting franchise such as the Australian cricket team. Working in his favour is the fact that his namesake, Martin Crowe, was a very successful cricketer for New Zealand, and, NZ being NZ, there can be no doubt that the two are related. Crowe also has previously demonstrated skill in propelling projectiles not too dissimilar in size from a cricket ball, so the transition to spin bowling should not be a difficult one.
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