damianhappy birthday, Don
August 27th 2008 03:00
Bradman sends another batch of cane toads flying
Today marks the 100th anniversary of Don Bradman's birth (what, you didn't know that? How un-Australian of you!) And on this momentus occasion, it seems appropriate to reflect for a moment on the great man's life.
Donald George Bradman was born on this day, 100 years ago in Cootamundra, New South Wales. Growing up on the family property, the young Don took an early interest in sport, and his habit of hitting a golf ball against a water tank with a cricket stump or broom handle has become folklore. On one occasion, the next-door neighbor's labrador managed to get into the Bradmans' yard and ate Don's last remaining golf ball. Outraged at this potential setback to his cricketing career, the young lad wasted no time in jumping on the big brute of a dog and clubbing it to death with his bare hands. He then marched next door, dumped the offending animal on the front doorstep, and told them it served them right because they were Catholic.
With no way of practicing his batting after losing his last golf ball, a lesser boy would simply have given up and concentrated on needlework or flower arranging, but not D.G. Bradman; for him, triumph was often borne out of despair. Being the enterprising young boy he was, it did not take him long to come up with a solution which allowed him to practice his batting, while at the same time performing a service to the nation. So barely a week later, he packed his cricket bat, bid his parents goodbye, and set off on a cane toad swatting tour of Queensland.
It was this tour that first thrust the fresh-faced Don into the public spotlight, as barely a month into his tour he had killed every single cane toad in Southern Queensland. As he continued to make his way up the coast, he paused only to eat, sleep and give media interviews. He told one local reporter:
"I have found the cover drive to be the most economical way of dispatching these creatures, as the wily little buggers have a habit of trying to leap out of the way at the last moment. I have managed to counteract this by playing the shot with a slightly open stance, which allows me to make subtle corrections to the angle of the blade by adjusting my bottom hand grip on the bat"
At the tender age of eleven, it was this sort of tactical brilliance that made the Australian public realise just how rare the Don's talent was. Before long he was playing for New South Wales, and most commentators believed it was merely a matter of time before he captained Australia. Sure enough, their predictions were realised, and today the Don''s test record speaks for itself.
After cricket, Bradman tried to retire from the public eye, but his successful work on a miracle cure for cancer was to once again thrust him squarely into the spotlight. Unfortunately, the Don never publicly released this life-saving vaccine, lest it fall into the hands of Catholics.
For much of the next two decades, Bradman tried to maintain a low profile as a cricket administrator. In recent times, he has been lauded for his stance on the apartheid regime in South Africa, and for attempting to stand up to Kerry Packer's WSC which was to split the cricketing world. Yet, for all Bradman's admirable work in the field of cricket administration, it was his efforts to eradicate third world hunger that most intrigued the public. So intense was the public scrutiny that the Don was forced to draft in an obscure Italian nun named Mother Teresa to be the public face of his work.
In his later years, the Don was finally able to maintain some sort of private life, and he liked to spend his days tinkling the ivories and entertaining dinner guests with his favourite pieces such as Rachmaninov's third symphony.
Shortly before his death, Bradman was rumoured to have discovered the meaning of life, and in a bedside conversation just before drawing his last breath, passed on this information to then Prime Minister, John Howard. Unfortunately Howard promptly forgot.
Bradman passed away peacefully on 25 Feb, 2001, and to this day remains the most respected sportsman, philosopher, scientific researcher, humanitarian campaigner and nuclear physicist in Australian history.
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